Introduction to the Devout Life

Description

ch. 19, ref:76.5 shows that particular friendships are not needed for monastics but they are for seculars:

Many will tell you perhaps, that we should not have any sort of particular affection and friendship, because it occupies the heart, distracts the mind, and begets envy: but they are mistaken in their counsels; for they have seen in the writings of many holy persons and devout authors that particular friendships and excessive affections are very injurious to religious, and they think that this applies to the rest of the world; but there is a clear distinction to be drawn. For since in a well-regulated monastery the common aim of all tends to true devotion, there is no need to form particular friendships there, for fear lest, making a particular aim of that which is the common aim, they pass from particular friendships to partialities; but as for those who live in the world, and who embrace true virtue, it is necessary for them to form holy and sacred friendships with one another ; for by this means they encourage one another, help one another, and lead one another on to good. And as those who journey on level ground have no need to give one another their hands, whereas those who are on rough and slippery roads hold fast one to another in order to walk more securely, so those who belong to religious orders have no need of particular friendships; but those who are in the world have need of them, in order to walk securely and help one another, in the many difficult places through which they have to pass. In the world, all do not aim at the same end, all have not the same spirit; we must therefore draw apart and form friendships in conformity with our aim; and this particular friendship is truly a partiality, but a holy partiality, which makes no distinction save between good and evil, between sheep and goats, and between bees and hornets—a very necessary distinction.

This masterpiece of Christian literature by a 16th-century priest explains how to live a holy life in the secular world. Drawn from the letters of St. Francis de Sales, it presents clear and direct advice about praying, resisting temptation, and maintaining devotion to God.
A key figure in France's Counter Reformation, St. Francis de Sales (1567–1622) served as Bishop of Geneva and was canonized in 1665. The popularity of his prolific writings on spirituality led to his nomination as the patron saint of authors and journalists. Today's readers feel a special affinity for St. Francis, whose suggestions for living a truly Christian life don't involve withdrawal from the world. In this enduring spiritual guide, his remarkably modern advice appears in the form of letters. The saint's frank and practical counsel ranges from embracing meditations that strengthen the resolve to maintain a virtuous existence to performing daily exercises that renew the soul.