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Nearby whose family should spouses live?

Started by Kephapaulos, October 15, 2020, 07:58:08 AM

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Near whose family should husband and wife live? I am not in this state of life myself currently, but I ask the question still. I know that in Fr. Heribert Jone's Moral Theology, it says that the wife should live with the husband wherever he has his employment, but spouses often end up living near the wife's family. I have seen it twice happen at my SSPX chapel where two younger couples ended up moving back to St. Marys, Kansas because the wives' yearned to go back and had their families living there. I do not think that the St. Marys area has the best job market though. Could this kind of situation suggest a lack of submission and sacrifice on the part of the wife?

I remember also once coming across a woman on her profile at Catholic Match pointing in Scripture where Our Lord has said, "For this cause shall a man leave father and mother...(Matt. 19:5)," saying that it simply applies to the man. Does this apply to the part of the wife as well though?

Good and true virtuous Catholic women are still scarce these days, and I know they may tend to exist in places like St. Marys, KS or other such traditional Catholic centers. Nevertheless, would it be prudent to uproot myself just to find a better Catholic environment (aside from the COVID-19 factor) to find a good Catholic spouse?


All other things being equal (equal job opportunities for husband, equal access to church with reverent Mass and valid sacraments, etc.), it's probably better to adhere to the general trend in Holy Scripture, where wife lives in the husband's house/land.
Look at Jacob and Rachel (Gen. 29:16-30). He lived with his father-in-law Laban for 7 years before consummating his marriage to Lia and another 7 before getting his wife Rachel. Then they moved to his own house/land.


Gen 2:24: "Wherefore a man shall leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be two in one flesh."
would seem to imply the wife's.


There are terms for this:
  • patrilocality: near the groom's family
  • matrilocality: near the bride's family
  • neolocality ("new location"): in some separate place apart from either family
Hiebert ch. 2 (ref:10.11)
Ibid. claims:
QuoteThe children of Israel organized themselves around and lived in patrilocal extended family households, not even having a word in the Hebrew language for what we mean by the nuclear family.