RULE FOR THE GROUP OF MARRIED COUPLES HUMANAE VITAE (PREMISES)

which re-proposes to married couples and their pastors the evangelical demands of an authentically Christian marriage. The group of couples who adopt this rule could take, consequently, the name of "Humanae Vitae".  2. The Rule is addressed to marriage couples in their entirety and not to individual spouses. It is important, in fact, that it be adopted and carried out by married couples and not by husbands or wives, without the commitment of the respective spouses.  3. In principle, the Rule commits the spouses only to living according to the norms of Christian morality which pertain to the order of the Commandments; it does not, however, oblige them to live according to the evangelical counsels strictly understood. In the strict sense, in fact,

the realization of the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience can only occur for those persons who are called to the religious life. However, the experience of married life shows that the observance of the moral rules announced by the Church is not possible without a certain degree of asceticism; married couples belonging to the "Humanae Vitae" groups must, therefore, reflect on how to put into practice the spirit of the evangelical counsels.  4. The particular goal of the "Humanae Vitae" groups is the continuous commitment to the spiritual attitude mentioned above, so that the integral teaching of Christ the Lord on marriage and the family, announced by the Church, may be fulfilled in their marriage with full understanding and with full love. It is a question of

therefore to form an adequate spirituality - i.e. an inte31

6. It is left to the married couples themselves to decide to commit themselves to carrying out the tasks outlined through a promise

particular.

33

you can't force them into a narrow place for long.  K Woijtyla, The stone quarry

The Bridegroom goes through many streets where he meets many different people.  As he passes he touches the love that is in them. When it is bad - it suffers. And it is also bad when it is completely missing.  K Wojtyla, The Goldsmith's Shop

by KAROL WOJTYLA

The feast of the Lord's Christmas has a special significance for us in family matters. This is by no means accidental, but has a very precise basis that most people find hard to perceive in its depth.  In this case we are speaking of believers, or at least of those who fall within the circle of influence of Christian thought.  In Poland, as we know, there are many of them. Every year, the Feasts

of Christmas remind us of it. It would be nonsensical, however, to claim that with the arrival of Christmas Eve the religious difficulties disappear and the horizon of thought of all Polish people returns to Christianity. This is certainly not the case. However, not

it can be denied that these feasts reveal a certain dimension in which it becomes possible to encounter Christian truth, despite the various ideological difficulties or even its denials. In our reflections we will try to grasp and deepen this dimension. Obviously, this deepening must necessarily be theological in nature. Its object, in fact, cannot be embraced otherwise; in this case, even an atheist must leave room for the theologian, even if he does not share the meritum of his reflections.  The grasping of this particular dimension of common thought

of so many people

we need it as

basis for ana ! K WoJTYLA, ,Mysli o matzeristwie", in Znak 7 (1957) 595-604.

35

These reflections are a theological deepening of some fundamental human questions. Theological deepening will not take away their human character. On the contrary, it will highlight it even more. Therefore, it is only necessary to free ourselves from prejudices in order to be able to see together the same realities in the dimension revealed by the Christmas celebrations.

The foundations of personalism

ÎChristianity is founded in the mystery of the Incarnation. God the Son, assuming completely human nature, "became flesh" in the same way that every man is flesh. In the face of this, all things of the flesh, that is, all questions of man which presuppose his corporeality and are fulfilled in an evi dent way in the body, have entered into the orbit of this new Event.  First of all, it must be emphasised that in this Event their human content was confirmed in a new way. In the consciousness of a believer, the significance of this confirmation can be seen in the 36

The order of grace and the order of sacrament. a. Lordine of the person. It must be remembered that the mystery of the Incarnation aroused in the first centuries of Christianity an endless series of researches and controversies around the problem of the relationship between the person and nature. It was a question of a certain understanding, accessible to human reason, of the mysteries of God in Three Persons and of God Incarnate. These investigations carried directly with them a commitment to the reality of God that was never again manifested in the history of the Church. Indeed, with this came the fundamental concept of the person, which in relation to nature always means a spiritually individualized and free being. The spiritual dimension - that is, intelligence and freedom - belongs exclusively to the person.  Nature can only be intelligent, that is, endowed with intelligence and free will, when it exists in the person as the proper subject of being and acting.  At the time, all these statements and reflections referred first and foremost to the divine reality. However, they became an indirect preparation for a more radical understanding of man and were the introduction of personalism into the human sciences. The very fact that this kind of personalism was formed on the basis of knowledge of God, on the foundation of the mystery of the Incarnation, has an eloquent significance. This determines the specific Christian nuance of personalism. Between man and God

We see that through the mystery of the Incarnation this human reality which is marriage was deeply rooted in God.  This fact, once again, is capable of uplifting and enlightening, but it is also capable of distorting and frightening, especially if it is confronted with the well-known weakness of human beings who become sharers in that extraordinary closeness to God. c. The order of the sacrament. It is precisely human weakness that explains the sacramental order in a particular way. In the mystery of the Incarnation God entered into the totality of human nature, that is, also into the "body" - which in some ways is a synonym of that nature. In this way the "body" - this is the body of the man-Christ - became a visible sign and prototype of 39

every sacrament, by its very nature

essence, it is as if it reproduces the Incarnation in a reduced dimension, on the scale of a person or - if it is a marriage - on the scale of two persons. In reproducing the Incarnation, therefore, the sacrament at the same time prolongs and extends it.  In fact, the Incarnation must be extended to all people, making all of them sharers in the adoption of the sons of God, in the likeness of God - the Incarnate Son.  As an efficacious sign of grace, the Sacrament creates in nature the supernatural forces which make possible the fullness of life of the human person - fullness which means life according to the Creator's plans and intentions for humanity. These forces make possible this life of the human person, but they do not yet bring it to completion. To draw out from these forces all that they contain and to make them enter into personal life, this is already the task of the man or men who through the sacrament enter into the orbit of grace.

As far as the sacrament of marriage is concerned, this fact has a particular significance, here in reality there are two persons who enter simultaneously into the orbit of grace. Indeed, one owes to the other mutually his own entry into this orbit that creates the sacrament of marriage. They are the ministers of the sacrament: if one of the persons lacked his own autonomy and the expression of a mature decision, the sacrament would not exist and at the same time there would be no marriage.

Christian. This vision presupposes

the mystery

of the Incarnation in all its depth, content and specific dynamism. Only the man who is capable of assuming that vision, at least to a certain extent, will be able to understand the objective sanctity of Christian marriage and to consider with deep conviction the reasons for its indissolubility.

Education for marriage - culture of the person

Every man, however, must recognize that the main problem of marriage is precisely the problem of personhood. In its essence, marriage is a communion of persons and not merely a combination and bonding according to the rule ofsex-appeal of two somewhat different natures - male and female. On the other hand, marriage is undoubtedly a bonding of natures, but this does not determine its human specificity. In the natures themselves, in their psychophysical sexual difference, one does not yet find the sufficient basis of that love to which the couple owes its beginning and its existence. Human love is always an act of the person and is also directed towards the person. The rich complex of psycho-physiological manifestations that accompany it or maga41

Love, on the other hand, as an act of man - understood both integrally and profoundly - is always an act of the person.  Only philosophy is able to grasp and explain the nucleus of this character of the person and of human love. The exact sciences require a certain disintegration, a certain division

of the totality of the human being in a series of subjects and aspects, analyzing them separately and establishing the regularity proper to each of them. Consequently, physiology can analyze one of the factors of sexual love, but by itself it cannot fully define its essence; it can only illuminate it from a certain perspective. This illumination is valuable for understanding the integrity of love, but it is not sufficient for this purpose. Psychology will illuminate the same question from another angle, but it does not grasp its full content either, although it seems to come closer to it than physiological sexology. On the other hand, sociology too can have much to say in this field, since it will illuminate the social background of the problem, but it too must presuppose a physiological concept of the person and of love.  Propaedeutics to marriage means the education of persons, of men and women, to the specific maturity which is necessary in the life of a couple. This propaedeutics must be based on knowledge, therefore it must include everything that physiology, psychology, sociology and any other science that enters into the field of these issues say on the subject of sexual life, love and sexuality. However, all these elements must always be integrated by means of a reference

and a submission to the person, to the whole man.  42

On the basis of this double view of man, the doctrine of the virtues - significant for ethics - was born, namely, the faculties that are typical solely and exclusively for the person, which make him good as a person, contributing in various ways to the goodness of his personal life. No other human science was able to elaborate the doctrine on the virtues except that which sees him as a totality - actual and potential.  Thanks to the doctrine of the virtues (aretology), ethics is at the same time the basis - the only adequate basis - for pedagogy. The propaedeutics to marriage, that is, the education of people to the maturity necessary in the life of a couple is, in principle, a

question of virtue. At least since the time of Aristotle it has been known that the road leading from the doctrine on virtues to the human virtues in life 43

the truth of the person', 'personalistic' and therefore 'human'.  The concrete methods of initiatives in the field of re-education can be different, it is important that they refer to

definitively to a single method: to the culture of the person.  In the fully Christian approach this culture arises from a vision of the person, of his being, of his capacities and of his destiny, which finds its foundation in the content and objective dynamic of the mystery of the Incarnation.

Economics and personalism

The whole question of propaedeutics to marriage and especially propaedeutics to the sacrament of marriage has yet another aspect of great importance in our times. Si

It is about the economic-social aspect. This does not mean that 46

However, there is no need to explain at length that nowadays its significance has increased greatly. Without going into the socio-economic details of the structure of contemporary marriage and the family, I only wish to draw attention to one thing which, in my opinion, is central.  It is clear that humanity is moving in the direction of fundamental economic changes. These changes bring

with it, at least at the present time, enormous difficulties for married and family life. It is enough to recall typical manifestations such as the necessity of professional work for both spouses with all the consequences of this fact for family and conjugal life, then the lack of sufficient funds to lay the foundations of the family and maintain it, and finally the most painfully felt difficulty, especially in large cities, that is, the lack of housing. While observing these facts and their consequences for morality, primarily for the moral life of couples and families, one must always remember a practical truth, namely a rule which the Church developed long ago. According to this rule, collectivization requires a particular moral maturity on the part of the persons who are to participate in it. Without high morality it becomes very dangerous. Instead, according to materialistic premises, it would rather be the economic relations themselves that would change morality, which would become a consequence of the new system. Christianity, however, is always convinced that the life of the community needs above all a high morality, in which the spiritual ideal makes possible the renunciation of a certain type of material goods or a certain type of relationship with these goods. On the other hand, that spiritual ideal will not arise mechanically as a result of changed economic conditions,

47

Until now the economic conditions have made this work concerning the culture of the person, which is the very core of conjugal and family life, rather difficult. Such a statement, however, serves no purpose. It is really more important to recognize that the changed economic and social conditions simply require an even higher culture of the person, so that couples and families can live at the moral level corresponding to their human and Christian character. It is precisely in this way that the question must be approached. Any other approach will not bring anything, will not build anything, and at most may serve to justify defeats and failures in this matter. Christian society is surprised by these changes and by the new economic relationships, which in most cases ordinary human morality cannot deal with. One of the consequences of this surprise are the numerous failures or even disasters in the moral life of couples and families. This is a situation that absolutely must be acknowledged. The events that have occurred in the economic dimension call for intensified efforts in the moral dimension, with regard to the culture of the person in the area of conjugal and family life. People sometimes speak of the need for a certain heroism. This statement is not at all exaggerated.

Obviously in ordinary conditions man cannot be obliged to be heroic, but some extraordinary conditions may require it. Even in a very general way it must be stated that the full culture of the person in conjugal and family life, against the background of contemporary economic and social conditions, can only be achieved at the price of commitments 48

its justification, that is, to save it from the original devaluation and weakness to which man so often refers. It is necessary to

take advantage not only of the light that rises from this mystery, but also of the strength that is found there and that never runs out.

If love is all the greater the more simple it is, if the simplest desire is in nostalgia, then it is not strange that God wants to be received by the simple, by those whose hearts are pure and who find no words for their love K Wojtyla, Song of the Hidden God

by KAROL WOJTY1A

When one speaks of the situation of Catholic marriage today, the idea immediately comes to mind about the change in social and economic relations, in some ways also in cultural and ideological ones, against the background of which a new model of marriage is emerging. If we wish to analyze this model from the inside, we must necessarily draw on theological principles. Being

Aware that marriage is a sacrament, we rightly affirm that it cannot be totally accessible to the analysis of reason alone, nor fully comprehensible without taking into consideration the premises of Revelation and the supernatural element they contain. Without taking these elements into account it is not possible to outline a new model of marriage, even if the reasons seem to lie rather among socio-economic factors.  I am not going to repeat the commonly known arguments. Instead, I will try to draw from the sources and theological principles all that, in my opinion, can be significant for an understanding and, even more, for a practical formation of this model of marriage which today is undoubtedly in | K WOJTYLA, Milosé jest moralnym fundamentem matzenistwa. Artykul opublikowany przez biskupa Karola Wojtyle w ,Przewodniku katolickim" w 1961 roku, in 1D.

Teksty poznaniskie [1 Poznat texts], edited by M. JEprAszEwsKI, Wydawnictwo $w.

Wojciecha, Poznar 1997, 47-56.

S!

Be perfect

In order to achieve this I would refer to some of the theological teaching on Christian perfection. According to the words of St. Matthew: "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your heavenly Father is perfect" (Mt 5:48), we affirm that there is a recommendation or even an obligation to strive for perfection, which has a universal character and whose way of realization is indicated by the commandment of love. We achieve the perfection of the Christian life by observing the commandment of love - the more perfectly we put it into practice, the more fully we achieve the perfection of which the Gospel speaks. The commandment of love itself also has a universal scope and thus once again confirms the universal character of the call to perfection. However, there are different paths of this realization, just as there are different vocations or directions of

life, and consequently also different ways of observing the commandment of love. Charity itself, spoken of in the commandment, is a theological virtue, and this explains Ja Ja its inner power of

uniting man to God. At the same time, it reveals itself as the most morally beautiful way of referring one person to another. Two elements: supernatural, that is, theological and personalistic are present simultaneously

in the content

of this "greater commandment" - and it is they who indicate the integral character of Christian perfection.

2

To the above teaching on the perfection of the Christian life another subject is often linked, namely the question of the so-called state of perfection. By the state of perfection we do not at all mean an inner state of the soul that has already attained perfection based on love, but rather a certain social formation, a common system of life or

solitary, which in a special way favors the attainment of the perfection of which the Gospel speaks. At the root of this state are three principal evangelical counsels, the observance of which is promised through the vows of chastity, poverty and obedience.  The result of the vows is precisely the state, i.e. the system of life, which is defined as "religious" (the most current form of realizing the spirit of a religious order is encountered in the so-called secular institutes; secularity does not disturb the spirit of an order, although it prevents membership in the clerical state - the clerical state and the religious order are, as can be seen, two distinct formations).

The state of married life

In the light of all that has been said above, it is easy to establish that marriage, as a state of life, is not identified with the "state of perfection". (Marriage is obviously a certain state, it means a precisely defined formation of human life, characterized by its own particular structure). Indeed, the structure of marriage does not in any special way predispose the life of a couple to achieve Christian perfection, as this is the case in the state of religious life.  53

perfection depends.

Christian perfection in the life of a couple

Why is all this being discussed? Because it seems that the teaching on perfection has been somewhat overshadowed by the teaching on the state of perfection and, as a result, a certain minimalism, almost programmed, has arisen with regard to the life of the couple. Î Marriage is an esteemed institution, in theory even somewhat glorified - "in theory", because rightly the appreciation and glorification concerns only God's idea of marriage. When, however, we need to move from idea to reality, then the image is obscured. What is the reason? It is undoubtedly related in some way to the facts.  We encounter different kinds of sins of spouses, which sometimes cost a confessor so much that he begins to call them his "cross". (Perhaps these sins are also a cross for the spouses themselves - it would be worth reflecting on this).  However, there is perhaps also a second reason for this inclination. Most likely there is in us a certain prejudice against the body, a trace of Manichaeism, such that we can hardly imagine the realization of perfection (spiritual and supernatural) in a state of life in which matters of the body present themselves as such an important and essential factor in the lives of two people. The manuals on Christian perfection are silent on this subject, generally reporting the methods of perfection corresponding to the conditions that exist in the "state of perfection." How, on the other hand, is Christian perfection to be achieved by others, in SS.

Need to get out of the cul-de-sac

However, the practice of life, as well as the experience obtained through it, gives rise to the idea that perhaps this is precisely the only way out of the blind alley, which is being created more and more around marriage. That blind alley which is highlighted by the facts, by articles in the press, by wider publications and, in addition to this, also by a growing "lifestyle" which so violently enters also into the customs of believing people, who are Christians not only in name, and which is often accepted as something "normal". With this in mind, I have collected a number of public speeches. On the other hand, our experience also suggests that in a great many cases the life of a couple possesses for a believing person the character of a test of spiritual and moral strength, of the strength of faith and of Christian character. Social custom and the tradition of the environment seem to help us less and less. It is important, therefore, that we, believers and pastors, should not be crushed by the eloquence of numerous facts. If we do not want to stop believing in marriage as a reality of God, as one of the terrains on which man plays a role not only with his concupiscence and, in general, with his nature 56

"Faithfulness to nature" or "faithfulness to grace"?

The non-Catholic side expounds the program of conscious motherhood. It loudly suggests all contraceptive proposals without any selection. We cannot approve of this approach, although the very term conscious motherhood is acceptable to us. It is rather a question of the model of conjugal morality behind it. Here lies a nerve point of the whole question which belongs to the integral vision of the life of a couple? and to the very subject of procreation.  For this reason, perhaps it is not enough to put the emphasis only on fidelity to nature ("a couple faithful to nature"). Theoretically this expression is right, nevertheless the simple and easy one " In the original Polish text K. Wojtyla always uses the term matzerstwo - "marriage", which, however, is not limited to a legal concept. To make it clear, when it was necessary, we have translated malzeristwo with expressions such as "cop pia" or "couple's life".

57

model". A simple and uncomplicated fidelity to nature would mean a numerosity of family members, which today would often exceed the strength of mothers who work too much and fathers who cannot earn enough to be able to support their families - and we need to listen to their voices too, because they do not say this without reason. And if one advances the postulate of fidelity to nature within conscious motherhood, one must honestly realize that "fidelity to nature" alone is not enough.  If six spouses, following fidelity to nature, must decide to practice continence, even periodically, then fidelity to grace comes to the fore. Î In this way the inner tension of the problem begins to be clearly delineated.  Although the moral demands which the Church places upon the couple refer essentially to "fidelity to nature", they are nevertheless difficult to accept exclusively at the level of fallen nature, and are even more difficult to realize. When, on the other hand, they are launched in the form of a pure prohibition, they only provoke opposition and incomprehension. It is necessary, indeed, to im post them differently, so that they may be accepted in another way. It seems, in fact, that it is difficult to practice conjugal continence (even periodic) if it is not founded on a certain tendency, even in a modest way, towards the perfection which is

possible in the life of a couple, on a certain asceticism, even simple, of life and living together. If we do not start from this principle, our program will always give rise to misunderstandings

and will limit itself to a superficial controversy on the topic, "Why S8

Sacramental grace is not a theory

We must clearly realize that the sacramental grace of marriage is not just a theory, but a real endowment, with which spouses can and must build a certain Christian perfection, linked to their vocation and to the plurilateral totality that is their conjugal life. I would not hesitate to affirm that past times have in some way manifested this truth; although through a rather negative way,

through contrast, have nevertheless revealed it. Today, if we want to avoid various misunderstandings, we must reflect on married life - on the one hand in opposition to the eloquence of the facts, on the other hand precisely because of them - rather with and in the categories of Christian perfection. 1 spouses must know why they put burdens on their shoulders that are not always easy to carry.

However, we need to think carefully about which is the cause and which is the effect.  Are imperfection and sin easily present in the life of a couple only because marriage is simply a "state of imperfection"? Or, on the contrary, does it prove to be so imperfect?

and sinful because we have ceased to ascribe to it the category of perfection and the possibility of realizing perfection?  There is still another question. A despair must not be allowed to arise in the minds and wills of spouses concerning their moral situation vis-à-vis the demands of Catholic ethics. Unfortunately, this happens quite often - spouses of certain age groups, whose married life is 60

many years. The sins of spouses do not arise from their inner isolation, but also arise from many different failings in the moral and religious life, which should be recovered first, in order to

make the sin go away.

According to reality

What is the proper meaning of all these reflections and thoughts? First of all, to bring out a certain truth...

about the life of a couple. The contemporary man easily finds this main difficulty: you put on me a weight that is impossible to carry, and at the same time you contrast it with the "state of perfection" in which, who knows, maybe it is actually easier to live (obviously this argument is lame, however, in the same

time, corresponds very well to human categories). It is necessary, therefore, first of all to put things back into the truth. From here the question arises, if our whole way of thinking about the life of the spouses is not perhaps too "low", while the demands we place on them remain very demanding. Perhaps it would be better to formulate the question much higher: to presuppose more in order to be able to demand more (just as much as we need to demand). For the same reason it would be necessary to organize a more thorough preparation and then also to help more.  First of all, however, it is necessary to implant these themes

according to truth, according to reality, because, in spite of everything, truth will always have a great future.

61

PA

a

;

True, noble and pure love brings with it beauty, serenity and

happiness, it is lasting and always developing, it is gratuitous, determined to sacrifice itself, because it does not seek its own interest, but the good of the beloved: every sacrifice becomes pleasurable.

J. Ciesielski, Notes

Each of us has been granted our own path, our own vocation. The

meaning of my existence depends on fidelity to this vocation....

J. Ciesielski, Notes